In life, there are many disappointments and there isn’t much you can do to control them.
For many months now, I’ve been feeling weird whenever I meet with a friend. And a month ago, I truly realized how unwanted I was.
Maybe time and difference in life experience cause the distance. I may not be smart enough like those other friends, or maybe being too passionate in a discussion irritated that person. Or perhaps I was just doing the wrong things at the wrong time. But I guess it matters not anymore.
Because when a problem arise between us, I kinda expected that the person will be the first to come out and say things direct, on the table, cause that’s the one thing I admire about my friend the most. Rather than sulking out where no one has a good time. I think if you are sick or not in the mood to go out or just plain sick of me, telling me so and just stay at home will hurt me less than forcing yourself out and just being moody.
It hurts to feel outgrown, and it hurts to not have a friend be truthful, even if the truth is the end of a friendship.
This piece is my way of saying,
Friend, I’m not dumb. I can see that the past few times when we meet haven’t been happy times. If you really were sick everytime we met, then I’m truly sorry for being paranoid. But if you have a problem you should have said it. Now I have a problem, I say it through my blog. A little late I know but I had better things to do.
So don’t worry, now you won’t be receiving an SMS asking if “you free? Movie?” from me and dreading the meeting. I’ve read the signs and I get the hint. You have no obligations to spend time with me. Meeting me shouldn’t be a JOB to you.
